When I'm not sure if all these crazy dreams in my Heart could possibly find a home
When I get discouraged looking at where I am
Where I so desperately want to be Where Everyone else seems to be Except me....... Sheesh!
When what is in front of me
Seems more than I can even face
Let alone tackle and move past
When my vision is big
But my presence is still so small
When I don't know where to start All this is like a dimly lit corn maze in front of me I wish I had the map ...... and a flood light!
When my focus is here today And
Loooong gone tomorrow
When my head is constantly in the clouds and I'm needing to fly
But life is pulling my attention to this yellow and brown grassed ground
In all this I am learning to let my Heart say .... Sometimes Yell Or Cry out Or dance out in front of my picture window that I keep forgetting to close the blinds on (Ya... I'm that neighbor!) God, I trust You You Love me You will fulfil Your purpose for me You will work this all out for my good You give me the very desires that You placed in my Heart when You gave me life I look up right now, Dad For Your thoughts are higher than mine Your eyes see what I cannot You are good You are here I belong to You I give this all into Your hands and take a massive deep breath
Are you like me, and find that there are just some truths about
God
His Strange Lovefor us
His Backwards Kingdom ways
That are almost impossible to understand with our earthly minds??
It's funny because I can hear a story about
The whole earth flooding, a ton of animals on a huge boat, for 40 days and nights
And.......... No one get eaten!?!?
I'll Shrug...
"Ya... Sure.. I'll believe that.. what the heck"
Or
What about that crazy mammoth Jerhico wall that fell from everyone yelling at it?
"Uh... a tad far fetched.."
But for some reason, I Believe it and it starts the movie reel of my imagination going Projecting on my heart
Or The young boy David
A slingshot, a bunch of courage, one stone, square in the forehead, and this monster of a man is down for the count
Makes my eyes sparkle with wonder
And my mouth to say with assurance....
"Oh ya!.... This story is Totally True!"
It's the big fanatical fables, that send the realists of this world into angry fist clenched tailspins
Yet, it's those adventures that light this naive, not so young anymore, story teller up inside
Chronicles of God's might and provision and creative genius, with a dash of romance
(Woohoo, it's like he writes for me!!)
And Then
Days like
Sunday January 26, 2014
Sermon time
Pastor Rowan standing up at the front
A big red, over filled water balloon of Living Water Truth
Gently being tossed from one hand to the other Metaphorically of course
Back and forth
Back and forth
I'm six feet away from him
Waiting in the second row
Strategically positioned withno tall headsin front of me
My eyes locked on the red target
"That balloon is mine" I whisper through gritted teeth
Eyeing my opponents on either side of me......
"The one on my right might pose a threat..... I'll keep my eye on him"
See
It's been a hot, scorching, dry, mid July kinda week
I came to church today over heated from life
Ready to play
Ready to be soaked and cooled with God's word
Catch any sort ofrefreshing, life water, that could be thrown my way
I came ready to get drenched
Rowan crouches down
Red balloon of truth held like a foot ball
Looks left
Then right
Leans back and winds up for the throw
In slow motion the red balloon releases to the crowd
"You Belong To Goddddddddd!"
He yells
My eyes wide
I see that vessel of liquid goodness sailing towards me
It's coming high, a little over my head
Instinctively
I'm out of my seat
Thirst compelling my leap
Hands positioned for the catch
I can feel the rubbery blob in my hands as I make the grab
Uh-Oh.......
I'm finding I can't quite get a grip
It takes all my effort to hold onto it for more than 5 seconds
"NOOOOOOOOO.....!"
This oddly constituted water balloon slips through my grip
I follow it to the floor
Swiping at this rolling mass of red
"I don't even care what I look like, right now"
I try to wrestle it to the ground
I want this for my very own!
I want to ram it down in my heart before it gets away.....
Again
It's odd to me how I can readily receive tales of talking donkeys, a whale belly camp out, magic hair that makes you strong, tap water turning into a smooth glass of Pinot Grigio With arms, heart and imagination wide open
I don't question these things
It's those weighty words:
I belong to God
I am the righteousness of God
I am an heir to everything my Father in Heaven has because of what Jesus did for me
God is FOR me
I am absolutely, amazingly, extravagantly, perfectly, unconditionally a delight to Heaven..... Period. No matter what!
Uh.... This is where I hesitate........
Where I start to flounder, my tongue gets tied and my head starts to hurt.. Like seriously hurt!
Wrapping my mind around and Believing these simple, foundational Universe changing truths
Seem as elusive as catching that dang slippery ungrippable red water balloon
Oh man
Do I ever want to Believe
In fact, I want nothing more than to have these truths weave their way through ever fibre of my being
Taking over me
You heard me
Complete system override!
I want it more than anything else!
It's always easier for a dreamer to reside in the world of ideals, romance Euphoric Utopian places of paradise
Which is probably why I can recite all the dialogue in Tangled Dream about snuggling up to Aslan
Fantasise about all the beautiful gowns that Queen Esther got to wear in the palace
I can enjoy these for moments of warm delightful bliss without the startle of Harsh cold reality interrupting
Reality is a dreamers Nemesis
It's true
And for some reason
I can be fanciful about so many things in life
But when it comes to Christina and her day to days
I am a cold hard facts kinda gal
I am a realist to the core
So when I hear that I am asLoved by God as His perfect son Jesus.......
My heart pounds so hard I think it will leap out of my chest
My palms sweat
My soul starts to swoon
....... For about 20 seconds
Or an hour
I can stay in the land of the Lovableness of Christina
For about as long as I can manage to hold onto that wobbly balloon
I am faced with the realities of Christina every single day
I see her in the mirror
I hear her "not so honouring" words to Trevor that replay like a record that should be smashed
I feel her fears and insecurities
I carry her stress
And know her thoughts... (Yikes!)
Oh, for me to Believe something else in the face of the Christina I can see, touch, taste, smell, and hear
Now, that is hard work!
While Rowan was preaching yesterday
My mind uncomfortably expanding and feeling like its about to burst
A verse popped up in my head
Ephesians 1:17&18
Paul Speaking to Christina about the things of God she can't quite seem to grap on her own
"Christina, I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Glorious Father
May give you the Spiritof Wisdom and Revelation so that you may know Him better
I pray also, that the Eyes of your Heart(your understanding) may be enlightened (Flooded with light)
That you may know the Hope to which He has called you, and the Riches of His glorious Inheritance in the saints"
That's it!
This is what I need
Right now, my physical mind is conditioned to see the reality of my world
Myself
What I need is for my natural eyes to close
I need my life here on earth to become dim for a moment
And The Spirit of God to shine a big old light straight into my Heart
Flooding it with Life and Truth
With His reality
Which to be honest
Unless my natural eyes are closed,
His Life and Truth seem way too good to be true
There is a difference between the realities of heaven and my escaping to an afternoon in Narnia, with Lucy When I should be doing school
Heaven is not a place I escape to
God's Love is not just there to make me feel all fuzzy for a few moments
The razor sharp sword of Truth is not for me to day dream about as I stand in the grocery line
Stabbing all the bags of chips by the till
These realities from heaven are meant, not as an escape
From life
From Self
They are meant to Invade our lives
To become the world that we live in
Operate out of
The words of God are meant to be our eyes
Our mirror
It's not fanciful or whimsical like a fluffy fairytale
Its Powerful and more real than anything we can see, feel, taste, smell or touch here on this earth!
Oh God,
Would you give us (Your bride) the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation for the things of you
Flood our Hearts with light and hope
Where our minds are blocked and conditioned to the logic of this world
Help us to Believein the craziness of Heaven
Like blind eyes opening
Waters parting for radical escapes from the plots of the enemy
Like being worth the death of Your only son
Being the recipient of your Fatherly embrace in the face of all our lost, sinful, rebellious brokenness
Help us to Believe it all
We are Your Treasured Possession
Your very own Dearly Loved children
We Belong to You
May these somehow be the Greatest realities of our lives
* Pictures taken at Comicon 2013 *Drawings by Nadine Mcgrath (One of the Lovely girls in our Youth group... Years ago)
1. To supply with riches, wealth, abundant or valuable possessions
2. To supply with abundance in everything desirable, mind and knowledge
3. To add greater value or significance to
4. To adorn or decorate
5. To make finer in quality, as by supplying desirable elements or ingredients
I was reading 1Corinthians this morning and this wordEnriched just jumped of the page at me
I 've been giving life my best shot... Some day's thinking "You've got it Christina!" Other days wondering if I will ever get this!
I guess when I read that God has alreadyEnriched me in every way In Christ I'm grabbing the word right off the page of my bible and Plugging it straight into myheart
Enrichingsomething is all about adding what is needed to something to make it more valuable
Well, I know that today
God says that He has added to me everything that I need
Knowledge
Wisdom
Focus
Peace
Joy
Finances
Ability
Health
Rest
He has even Enriched my food and drinks and blessed them to my body
Just think, Christina, You don't need a thing You've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for Jesus to arrive on scene for the finale And not only that, but God Himself is right alongside To keep you stead and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus.
God, who got you started on this Spiritual adventure Shares with us the life of His son and Jesus.
He will never give up on you Never forget that!
1Cor 1:7
Where do you need to know that you have been Enriched today? I know for myself I need to remind myself that God has Enriched my sleep and rest Also That He has Enriched(added) Wisdom to me For some situations that I do not yet have the answers for
I don't think it's in my dna tonotgive life my best shot Although In every single area of my life I can recognize that I need God to Add To Supply To make To add Value To Enrich me
God, thank you for Enrichingme My life Thank you that I can rest in Your finished work in me You are right along side of me Your presence is here with me Supplying me with everything I could possibly need Adorning and decorating my life Making every part Beautiful What an honour to be Your child Help me to put my faith in you Instead of my best efforts You Love us so much You are so involved in every detail of our lives
