Everybody's Workin For The Weekend

There have been stretches in the past few weeks where I have felt like there is literally a huge metal clamp across the front of my head.

Stress

It seems like there is something, someone, some senario that arises everyday that is beyond my capacity to deal with.  

I can instantly feel my head tighten, adrenaline rise, and I can almost anticipate my sleep shortened.  Actually, I feel so exhausted that I don't struggle to fall asleep at night.  I basically flop into bed and I'm out (which is nice) but I have to wear ear plugs, because any slight sound could wake me up... and if I get woken up, its like a torrent of thoughts, worries, situations.... random things seem to overtake my mind.  Once this happens, I might as well get up because... I'm up.. it just sucks that its been 3AM that I've been awakened at for the past week...... Sigh.

Since my struggles with sleep this past year, I have become aware of so many people who have similar struggles...  Others that live in constant stress, anxiety, and are severly underslept.
You would think that this realization that I'm not alone, would make me feel at ease and understood... but actually it seems like it has put a blanket of hopelessness over me.

I see so many people managing life, living in stress, coping and getting by.... and to be honest, thats what I feel I do so often....
Just make it through the day..... only to do it all again the next day.

I read someones remark on Instagram this morning, they were quoting a song, 
"Everybody's working for the weekend"
Just a song.... but so true.

Good day with amazing friends!  So glad we'd been working out.. otherwise I would have died!!

Trev and I always think "Oh we'll catch up on sleep on Saturday"  "Oh, we'll relax on the weekend"
It does happen, but more often than not, we begin our Monday feeling even more exhausted from our crazy jam packed weekend (that was filled trying to squeeze in every ounce of fun, and enjoyment...)

Climbing and zip lining!

I'm not writing this from a rock bottom place (like I usually do)  I'm writing from a thoughtful place. 

 The truth is, I enjoy my life... a lot!  I feel like Trev and I are learning  so much about balance and health, work, rest, and boundries.  We have been implimenting the things we've been learning, and our quality of life happliy bears the resaults.  It seems like we are somewhat finding our stride, our purpose.  

I guess I am just pondering.  As I look at my own life, the lives of others around me, I wonder..... 

What kinds of things do we all just "Live With?"  
What types of things do we just throw under the canopy of "Well, thats just life"?  
Were we all really meant to "Just get through the day, and live for the weekend?"

I have some serious questions about these things..... and I am contimplating lately about this abundant life that Jesus died to give us, and I wonder about the things I accept as the human experience that really are not!

After waking up this morning (early) and frustratingly getting out of bed and laying on the couch (that way I don't wake Trevor up rolling around)  I was venting to God, crying out of tierdness, and not even putting together legible sentences.... I had the thought to turn to Psalm 16.
I get nervous when I get a bible reference in my head... ha ha... you know when you have James 6:3 pop in your head... you rush to turn there, thinking "God is speaking to me, this is gonna be awesome!!" you turn there frantically, only to find out it doesn't even exsist!..  Or you turn to a reference that popped up in your head, and its the one that says "I will smite your children for ten generations because you are a wicked people...."... and you are like "what the heck... That wasn't upifting at all.....Do I need to repent for something.... gulp ??"  Ha ha  God must just be rolling on the ground laughing.... I think He's a practial joker for sure!!
Anyway...... I was nervous to turn there, not knowing what I would find.  As I read it, it felt like God was laying beside me and wrapping me in His words of Truth and Promise

Fall in BC..... uncomparable!  I am awe struck and surrounded by beauty!

Psalm 16 (NLT)

You Keep me safe, O God,
    for I have come to you for refuge.

² I said to the Lord, “You are my Master! (my Lord)
    Every good thing I have comes from you.” (I have no good beside or beyond You)
³ The godly people in the land
    are my true heroes! (We have amazing Godly friends, and mentors in our lives!)
    I take pleasure in them!
⁴ Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods.
    I will not take part in their sacrifices of blood
    or even speak the names of their gods.

⁵ Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. (I don't need blessing from any other cup)

 You guard all that is mine (All that You've given me, God.. You will protect and keep)
⁶ The land you have given me is a pleasant land. (This life you have given me... right now is a precious gift!)
What a wonderful inheritance!

⁷ I will bless the Lord who guides me; (You are my light on my path, You promise to direct me.  You give me wisdom when I ask You!)
even at night my heart instructs me. (I love how God puts either a song, or a verse in my mind every morning when I wake up... makes me smile.  He is faithful to feed me with His word.)
⁸ I know the Lord is always with me.
    I will not be shaken, for He is right beside me. (Holding me on the couch, sitting with me at the table at 3 AM, Hand on my back as I cook dinner, imparting strength, whispering Peace, singing a song in my heart)

⁹ No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
    My body rests in safety. (God You shoulder all the resonsibility and weight of loved ones, work, future, tasks......... even the responsability of me.   Therefore I can Trust You enough to lay down and sleep...)
¹⁰ For you will not leave my soul among the dead
    or allow your holy one to rot in the grave.
¹¹ You will show me the way of life,
   granting me the joy of your presence
    and the pleasures of living with you forever.

My favorite place to sit when I was at Mercy.  I would haul a chair out into the middle of the back yard and just sit.... in the quiet.

And there it is.. 

Verse 11.  You will show me the way of life.  My eyes and heart are glued to that line.  He will show me the way of life.  The way of this abundant life that He payed for.  He will teach me a higher way to live... and He knows that I want that!  Ha.. I'm sure He wants me to live it even more than I do!

You

God, You are showing me the way of life.  Your life.

The life that is seated with You in heavenly places,  far above the darkness and trials of this earth.  Take me there father.  Open my eyes to Your truth.  I'm so hungry for a better way.  Show me the things that I can have victory over.  Show me where I am settling for a less than life.

I choose to relax today, God.  Relax and Trust that You will show me the best way to live.  Thank You for Trevor, and my warm house.  Thank you for friends, my coffee, clean water, a day off, a shower. Thank you for a bright future, dripping with abundance

Looks like a lit abundant path to me! (Karlie took this picture)

Thank You for speaking to me this morning.  Thank You for these words straight from Your mouth.  I wrap myself in them today.

Thank You for this life You have given me. 

Help me to live it in its entirety!

This message really spoke to me yesterday.... Plus, its only like 5 minutes long (That's Trevor's kind of message..... maybe he'll take a quick listen.... ??)

XOXOXO