Home For The Holidays

This was a guest post I did for my church
However
 For all my  Beautiful Mercy Sisters
I cannot shake the feeling like I need to post this on here 
A thought that someone needs to read this

Home

I remember listening to a Pastor preaching a sermon on HOME.  Telling his childhood recollections of HOME being his very favourite place on earth.  HOME was the safest place to be fully and completely himself, fully and completely loved.  He could walk through the door, let loose, take his shoes off, maybe undo a his belt a notch, put his feet up, relax, and let all the cares of the outside world roll off his shoulders.

As I listened, I remember laughing (until my stomach hurt) at his hilarious childhood stories of HOME, but at the same time, deep down in my heart, feeling really sad because it had been a long time since I had experienced HOME like that.

Sometimes our childhood experiences of walking through the front door of HOME were  quite different.  I know it was not always my favourite place on earth. There were times when I walked through my front door slowly, worrying what I might walk into.  Wondering if it would be a good night or a bad one.  Instead of letting loose, putting my feet up and relaxing, there were days and years when being HOME meant more stress than being anywhere else.

I remember this Pastor telling us how he could hardly stand the excitement, waiting to get HOME for the holidays.

I’m not quite feeling that same longing of his, this year

I have to tell you, though, last Sunday, Trevor and I were racing out the door with 15 minutes to get to church (I take full responsibility for the rush as I was having a dilemma between two equally wonderful pairs of shoes…. This small choice of shoes had become a life or death decision…)

Anyway, I was getting unusually annoyed as we made our way down Deerfoot, getting stuck behind Mr. Slowy-McSlowerson in the Civic, then hitting every single red light on Anderson… Seriously! (Usually I am the more diplomatic one on the road… “Trevor, I’m sure that man just cut us off because his wife is in labour, and they are en route to the hospital!”)

Not today, I am on the edge of my seat, keeping my fingers squeezed tightly in a ball, to endure one doesn’t find its way out to wave at Mr. McSlowerson as we finally blow past him. (Maybe I shouldn’t have shared that part.)

As we pull into the parking lot, I open my door… before the truck has come to a complete stop (I know!  What is with me today??)

I jump out, slightly stumbling to find my footing on the still moving ground (Okay, that part is a joke. I’m not that crazy)

I do, however, bolt for the church door, calling over my shoulder to Trev

“ I’m going to run, babe.  I’ll save you a spot!”

“Okay”, he yells back, cramming the rest of a pancake in his mouth

I open the front door to hear the band already in symphony, accompanied by the beautiful sound of many voices.  

I turn the corner, see that the house is jam-packed full.  

I linger in the doorway and breathe in the warm presence that fills the atmosphere.  

Spotting some empty seats, I briskly squeeze my way into the row, rip off my coat, chuck my purse under the chair, and without even having to think, my arms fall up in the air, as all the burdens from my week roll off onto the ground. 

The corners of my mouth begin to do this strange curving thing, and before I know it….. Ha Ha! I’m smiling, and clapping!

My body is swaying with a mind of its own, and I’m suddenly bumping into the shoulders of both people on either side as the music takes over and I move from side to side. (Yes, I am that person! Is it just me, or is it absolutely torturous to be sardined in the middle of a row during worship!)

In this moment, it all becomes clear to me. 

All the angst, I was feeling on the drive to church.

 All the frustration with Slowy McSlowerson.

 The absolute lack of caution I displayed by exiting a moving vehicle…

 Not to mention sprinting over the ice rink in kitten heels!

As my arms are extended and face locked on Heaven, everything crystallises in my mind, as I realize,  I could hardly stand the wait because....…

I was coming HOME!

I could have cried! (Okay, I did cry)  How could I not, when all of a sudden, I realize that I belong somewhere, and I can hear the voice of my Father saying,

 “Take your shoes off Chrissy (Great choice on the gold sparkly ones, by the way!”)  “It’s time to let loose daughter, because you are HOME

As I open my eyes, tears trickling down, I realize that I have a whole family, some of you I don’t even know.  I don’t have to, though, because we are all at HOME with our Father.

I don’t know what your experience of HOME has been.  Maybe you have amazing, hilarious, heart-warming memories, like the Pastor did, and that is so wonderful!!! 

Or, maybe like so many of us, HOME has been for you, a place where there has been some hurt, tension, and stress, a place where you couldn't always be your true self.  Maybe this is especially true for you as the holidays approach.

Whichever HOME you had, I hear the Father, inviting you…

Yes, You!

I see Him burst through the front door of the house, run down the stairs to meet you as you make your way up the sidewalk. 

His eyes shining wildly, His smile beaming. 

I see Him open His arms, wrapping them around you, and squeezing you so tight you think you might burst.

I even see your feet dangling, two inches off the ground, your face looking a bit stunned at His excited display of emotion toward you. You just dangle there, stiff as a board. 

You have no choice.

I watch Him grin at your awkwardness and excitedly whisper into your ear, “I’m so glad you are here!”

He opens the door and you slide past him, hit with the cozy warmth of the house. 

The smell of something sweet in the air permeates your senses. 

You can see the glow of the fireplace, and the twinkle of the tree lights across the house.

You take a deep breath, all the way to your deepest parts and slowly exhale everything from inside.

He places His hand around your shoulder, pulling you right close.

“Let Me take all of that heaviness you picked up this week.”

“I’ll take that coat of guilt and shame.” “Put those shoes of busyness and worry on the shelf.” 

“I’ll hang that hat of stress, for you”

“Take a load off, and just to let you know, you’ll be undoing that belt a notch, once you finish the feast I prepared for you!”

“You are free to be yourself here, child.”  “Free to be fully you in my presence!”

“There is a place for you, here in my heart.” “Come sit down, put those tired feet up, and tell me what you’ve been up to.” He says as he places a, piping hot, peppermint mocha in your hands.

“Welcome Home Child, I am so happy you are here”