Just A Plain Old Dollop Of Guilt

The moment you know you are forgiven is the moment you know that God is close, and you are close to God.

This gives you power and strength.

The strength for obedience comes when you realize that you are accepted perfectly and forgiven completely.

Joseph Prince

I'm pretty sure that I humanize the concept of forgiveness.  To me, the word is not free, it's always linked with a bit of disappointment, a patience meter (which will run out when I mess up in the same area over and over), or just a plain old dollop of guilt.

I know there have been times when Trevor has come to me to seek forgiveness (which is humbling, even at the best of times) and I have responded, eventually, with forgiveness..... but I had to ensure that he knew exactly how much I was hurt.  I had to make darn good and sure that the situation was replayed, and he knew where he was in the wrong, so that it never happens again.....
Man!  I just shake my head now, no wonder he might want to avoid being the first one to apologize!!
Sheesh, I would too if I was met with ice cold pride and heavy guilt...... In other words, Conditional Love.  Which I guess is not true forgiveness that I have been "offering" (more like granting, and focusing on his sawdust through my log!)... 
It's  earned forgiveness...... 

Song in my head this morning

I'm asking for help to wrap my mind around the fact that God does not react to us like that.  
God Loves with no Conditions.
He just Loves.... 
Period
His Love is not weather permitting.
God is never disappointed in me, He already knew that I would struggle with sin.  Joseph Prince said once
"I sin because I am a sinner"
not
"I am a sinner because I sin"

God always meets me with open arms and Love.
He doesn't see my sin, He sees me, covered in the blood of His perfect Son....
These are all things that I have heard before and if you reminded me of these truths, I would roll my eyes (inwardly of course) and say "I know!".... The truth is, though, I really don't know

God is acceptance
Illogical, undeserved and unfair acceptance.
God always sees the why behind the what in our hearts.

He is Gracious and Compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in Loving Kindness....
Oh, that I could begin to understand Him, and His beautiful heart.. that baffles me beyond belief!



I long to be close to the Father... Always!
I'm so sick of distancing myself when I feel I've let Him down.
He sees who He created me to be.  He sees me in Jesus.

He never points out my faults (I do that well enough myself)

The thought came to me this morning when I first awoke, 
Even if I spent the rest of my life under the covers in my safe cozy bed, watching TV, doing nothing productive or helpful to the world..... He would still Love me, be proud of me, accept me.... There would not be an ounce of disappointment in His heart toward me.

As a hardcore approval addict, that is a left field concept for me.
Unconditional approval and acceptance, regardless of what I do..... Throws me for a loop.


I had a word confession when I was in Mercy, that I read nearly everyday.

"I am Fully Loved, Completely Accepted, and Totally Pleasing to God.
Regardless of how much I do or fail to do, I will remain, 
Fully Loved, Completely Accepted and Totally Pleasing to God."

I Needed to be reminded of all of this today.  I am so thankful for Holy Spirit who guides me into the Truth I need.  He is so faithful to lead me.
I pray that we would have a revelation of the perfect Love of God for us. I pray that we would remain so close to Him, and receive His Grace to live in Victory.

XOXOXO