Peter Parker...... Who Knew?

Okay, I am going to do a little self centered ranting for a second here........

When I compare myself to the world.  When I think of where I should be right now.  When I glance around and see others, younger, smarter and taking risks.

I sink inside

It's like I'm a little ant of a person, holding a giant magnifying glass up to my head and looking at the world and others through it..... They look huge, accomplished and successful, or at least in the arena of life

I feel small, intimidated, lost, watching from the side lines

Naniamo BC

Vancouver Boardwalk

I'm 30 years old.  I have no children yet (I was supposed to have 3 at least by now!) I do not work... (yes, that's right, I still do not work) I still do not sew, play guitar.  I have not yet written or even started to write a book.  I have a blog that only a handful of people know about because I am terrified to be judged on my heart and thoughts.

Man, I have to sit back in times like these and seriously stare at God

.............................................................................................................................................................

That was me staring

His word says that He has a plan and a purpose for me.  He said that I was created for a reason, and placed here on earth do be His hands and feet.  He said that He formed me and imagined me as someone who would uniquely bear parts of His spirit and heart.  There are talents that He placed within me.  There are thoughts, songs, dances, ideas on the inside of me, like an intervenes connected from my arm to heaven's supply of creativity...

At the Mercy Home with this beauty, Sydney

I believe that!!

So whats the hold up?

Where is the outlet?

Why am I still tied to this dock, when the sea in front of me is so blue and big?!

I heard a sermon once about how women are created to be merchant ships.  Merchant ships are actually the largest ships and carry the most precious cargo.

Could it be that I am tied to the dock because God is still working on me so that I can carry more precious cargo safely?

Tightening bolts, hammering down floor boards.

Making sure that I am confident in His sturdy work in me before I hit the open seas?

Ya, it's hard to see the other boats who are able to sail right now, watching them pursue and get wet in what they were created to do.

Olympic Torch, Vancouver BC

I came across this quote this morning..........

“Do I contradict myself? Very well,

then, I contradict myself; 

I am large -- I 

contain multitudes."

-Walt Whitman

I'm not sure what he is actually talking about... but I personalized it (like I do with everything!) to mean that my life may look really small right now....

Wife in the making

Homemaker 

Longing for children

Small scale writer

Uneducated Dreamer of  sewing, music, art, gardens, dance,  speaking, travel, drama, healing

Quiet carrier of her Father's presence

Frustrated devotee, seeker, and learner of Grace and Love

WhiteRock BC

Christina, 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding of how (your life should look).  In all your ways,  acknowledge God (keeping your eyes glued to Him and not the worlds plans and purposes for success) He and He alone will direct your paths....  

Proverbs 3:5-6

I am not small and insignificant, nor are the things that God is doing in the secret places of my heart.

Rather, I am Large, and I contain multitudes!

A pic off the web that someone sent to Trev

XOXOXO