Jean Claude Van Damme, He's Fine!!

The following is a Stage Play written by Yours Truly

Mostly based on true events

Cast

Christina Lewis: played by Christina Lewis

Trevor Lewis: played by Jean Claude Van Damme (only because Trevor likes to save himself for bigger roles!)

Narrator: Hugh Grant

Act 1

Scene: Lewis Home, 5:00 PM on a Wednesday night.

Narrator: Christina sits at the kitchen table, working on the computer (okay.. she's on PinTrest... we better start by being honest!) She  knows Trevor will be home any minute, from work... (It is always her favorite time of the day when Trevor gets home!)

She hears the garage door open, and perks up a little on the inside, although she is careful to just keep typing (errr...Pinning) and remain calm as to not bombard him like an untrained black lab puppy that bowls you over with it's excitement when you walk through the door.... (and yes, she has done that to Trevor !)

Scene: As Christina is "typing" away, Trev strides in the kitchen.  

Narrator: Christina's breath is instantly taken away as she beholds the sight of her 5 foot 9" 185 lbs  husband, sporting a tightly fitted, perfectly (not overly) soiled white tank top. (that would be gross!) Muscles bulging, olive skin always (miraculously) looking like it's been basted with butter.  It looks more like Trevor has been kick boxing and pulverising thugs all day, rather than plumbing..... Her pulse races, but Christina makes sure to act extra casual (reminding herself that he needs his space after work.. and her enthusiasm and raw attraction sometimes... (okay usually) overwhelms him) 

Christina: "Hey babe....."

Narrator: Christina skillfully uses her art of acting as she verbalizes with no exclamation or overindulgence of emotional outburst.... like a master she exudes a calm and "in control" vibe. Then she purposefully turns her gaze back to the computer, all nonchalant like. (Nicely done Christina!... He totally thinks you are doing something important!)

Christina: "How was your day?"

Narrator: She says without looking up a second time

Trevor: "Good"

Narrator: Trevor responds completely expressionless and monotone!!

Then proceeds to walk past her, grab a pen from the jar by the table,  and stride right back out the room!

Narrator: "Christina faces  an (emotional) Y in the road.  The path that she decides to take will determine the peace level of the house (and heart) for the rest of the evening..."

Act 2: Christina Monologue

(The part where the Christina verbalizes her inner dialogue.... and the audience gets to experience her private reality...)

Christina: "Ummmmmm.... Okay, He just walked out of the room.  He seemed really angry at me.  He's probably not even excited to see me at all...... It's all of those times I met him at the front door and talked his ear off for an hour.. Now he doesn't even want to come home to me anymore.  I think I'm going to cry, or at least try to cry!!  He's falling out of love with me!...... Our marriage is going down the drain... one day at a time.... Sweet Lord! What is happening to us?!

He never even asked me how my day was??  How could he not ask how my day was?  Maybe he wishes I had a job?  Maybe he thinks I did nothing today so he doesn't feel the need to ask me?

Well, why should I care anyway?... Maybe I will just stop asking him about his day!..... Maybe I won't even be home at 5PM tomorrow.  No hug, no Christina, no dinner.... then he'll know what I do all day!

Ahhhh.... Why won't the tears come?... I at least need my eyes to be red and puffy when he comes back!"

Narrator: "Christina Path number 1 -  Judgement:

Christina is assuming she knows the Why behind Trevor's actions.  Assessing him based on his actions and her perception alone.   This is the easiest and most natural path in which her emotions will lead her.  This destination leads to a blow up, hurt feelings, and regretted words.

Let's see what happens when Christina chooses to go  a different route."

Act 3: Christina Monologue Cont....

Christina: "Hmmm.  That hurt!  Trev walked out of the kitchen, no kiss, didn't ask about my day, barely looked at me..... Doesn't he care about me?! I wonder if I did something that hurt him or made him angry with me?..... Maybe he noticed, and is upset,  that I used his razor to shave my legs again... Yikes.. I've got to stop doing that!"

He's just sick of me!  He wishes he was married to someone else.

 I can see it in his eyes!!!

Stop Christina!...... I need you to just think for a second here.

What is the Truth?  

Okay.... what I know to be true is......Trevor cares about me and my day.  He would never intentionally do something to hurt me.  Trevor Loves me.  Trevor has said so many times that he loves to come home to me after a hard days work..... and He probably hasn't noticed his razor because I dried it off really well, and put it back in the exact same spot....

Okay.....

He must have something on his mind.....
 something I don't know about.  

I'm gonna give him a few minutes."

Narrator: Christina Path number 2 - Seeking to Understand  

Christina is choosing to believe the best about the character and nature of Trevor, regardless of his actions and behaviour, and regardless of her own perception and hurt because of them.

The choice to go down this path has to be a conscious decision for Christina, as it does not yet come naturally for her.  The destination of this path is Peace (in Christina's heart especially) and therefore a calmer atmosphere in the Lewis home"

Act 4

Scene: 5 minutes later.  Christina is still seated at the table (looking busy) on the computer as she checks out the new colors for Spring fashions. Trevor enters the kitchen (once again, invading his surroundings with sheer awesomeness!),  He walks over to the table, places the pen back in the jar on his way, leans over and kisses Christina on the forehead.

Trevor:"Hey babe"

Narrator: Trevor speaks in a voice that seems to drip with sexy.

Trevor: "Sorry for not answering you, earlier.   I was reciting a phone number over and over in my head to I wouldn't forget it... then I had to make a quick phone call to wrap up work for the day..... Ahhh, I'm so glad to be off now! How was your day?"

Scene: Christina smiles, sighs and settles in under Trevor's unbelievably colossal arm (as thick as a horses neck!)  She breathes in the alluring aroma of sweat mingled with butter.

All is right in the universe again! (Trevor, still oblivious that the universe was in any way wrong....)

Suddenly,  Trevor's attention is drawn to the open computer screen in front of them, featuring the Fabulous Attributes of this Season's "Must Have" Fur Accessories.

Trevor: "Ewwww.... Sick!! Not a chance in He** you are buying that crap!!"

Scene: Curtains close

The End

****************************************

Disclaimers: 

 1.  Despite all the Van Damme swooning, I must clarify that my 5 foot 10" 150lb slender husband... (who looks nothing like Jean Claude,  but still possesses the bicep radius of a King Cobra!)  Is absolutely everything I could ever want in a man.... I am the luckiet woman on earth!!

No joke!

2.  But, with all that being said... I still have no reservations about him learning to speak in a Belgian accent, or getting creative with the butter every once in a while..........

3.  The last and most important disclaimer, is that the only inaccurate detail of the story, was Trevor's negative view on fur accessories...... 

See the truth for yourself......

And..............

If that ain't smokin hot... then I don't know what is!

He Spotlights a fur like no body's business.... Ahhh ya, that's what I have at home ladies!!

XOXOXO