Insomnia.... Pfffftt!

It's so hard to not be frustrated with this lack of sleep.  
I struggle to call it insomnia because that word seems big and scary to me.  Even though, I'm sure that is what my symptoms would be diagnosed as... I prefer to call it trouble sleeping.

What I am finding most difficult is that I'm losing Hope.
I find it so hard to keep Believing God... Even when I pray for sleep.... and then don't sleep.
I find that it's so easy to distance my heart from Him in that area because my question is so deep.
"Why aren't You healing me God?"
I feel like I am met with silence.
I would say my biggest struggle right now is keeping my heart soft toward God, like a child.

Naniamo

Trusting that He Loves me
He is For me
He is my Healer
He wants to and is able to heal me
He is Good and only does good things for me
I have to keep Believing that He is working in me and on my behalf... even when I don't see, hear or feel Him.

Gabby

Billie and Gabby

I know from experience that if I let my heart go a ways down that path of unbelief, and get caught up in the questions, that my heart will stray so far from the Truth and I will find myself in a far away place that I don't want to be.

I want to crawl up in my Heavenly Father's lap as easily on the following morning of a sleepless night, that I do when I've had a restful 9 hours.  

Dad and patrick

I don't want my Trust in Him to be moved by what I experience and don't understand.

Easier said than done
I feel He is teaching me though

Patrick and Keegan (My nephew) and Trev... given a little Love

We learned about the Holy Spirit yesterday in church.
Holy Spirit just being a part of God (Father, Son (Jesus), and Holy Spirit)
God is in Heaven.  Jesus came to earth, lived here on a mission of Love to free us from our sins, died on the cross, was raised from the dead after conquering death, and then went up to Heaven to sit next to His Father (God)
Holy Spirit (God's Spirit) was sent to remain on earth with us. 

What I am learning about Holy Spirit:
He is always with me
He is the still small voice leading me to Truth
He shows me the Father's heart
He shows me who I am in God (Righteous, Holy, Loved)

And this morning, what I actually practised as I lay in bed, after a mostly sleepless night. My body feeling worn and shut down (and I haven't even started my day yet!) eyes burning, throat sore... and a to do list miles long waiting for me.
"Holy Spirit, You are my Strengthener.  You give me strength (and I need it now.)  You are here with me.  You are my helper today.  (I'm not alone in this.)  You are my Comforter, like a thick blanket, and a cup of hot chocolate.  Like the way my mom used to lay in bed with me and rub my back.                     You Comfort me.

Dad and Billie

You are praying for me.
You are praying for my sleep!
You are praying that I will conquer this!
You believe in me today!"

Our balcony in Mexico

Do you know what...... after I focused on Holy Spirit' s presence with me... I actually felt Peace in my Body and mind.  I actually felt strengthened!


Psalm 16:8
 I know the God ( Holy Spirit  ) is always with me.
    I will not be shaken (even if I haven't slept for a week and life is only getting busier in the weeks ahead!), for He is right beside me. 


I will not be shaken Because......

Psalm 16:11
You will show me the way of (Your) life,
    granting me the Joy of your presence (that is always with me)
    and the pleasures of living with you forever.

Dance Party!!  

I have Joy in Your presence.  Joy knowing that You are with me every moment, Holy Spirit.  The Joy of the Lord, will be my Strength.

555 Means Complete Grace!

I am Covered in a Grace today that makes no logical sense.  I am being cheered on by Heaven itself.  I am being strengthened and positioned to succeed... beyond my own physical or mental ability.

Maybe insomnia is not such a scary word, when God Himself is with me, and Nothing is impossible for Him!

Insomnia, You will not shake me.  Holy Spirit is with me and He's showing me the way of life.  I will overcome!

The Warrior Dash Trophy Viking Hat... (Borrowed from Trevor)

I feel like as the day lives on, I will need to keep my eyes on this Truth... I don't want my faith to stop at words... I want to Live it, and wrestle with it, until it's a reality for me.

Help me today Holy Spirit!

Trev after eating way too much pie!