Learning to Walk Again...: Wonder

My dad was overall a pretty calm man..... and by pretty calm, I mean rarely (outwardly) get worked up about anything, (The apple has fallen far from that tree!)

He would usually drive 5km... if not more, under the speed limit.

My childhood was a blur of semi's passing us on the highway (Apple's still attached to that tree!)

He would even turn his car off about 10 feet from a parking stall and coast in ("Save a little gas, "He'd say) Dad was never in a hurry for anything....

I still love that about him.

I can freely think about his relaxed nature and smile... Now.. because I am not, panicked, on my way to the airport with him, to catch a flight that I may or may not make!

I remember one day, when I was young, he came in from outside. (He had been out doing chores)

He was excited, and said to me "Come on, I've got to show you something"

Instantly excited, my mind started to race... What could it be? You never could tell with my dad. A new colt, a new wild pet. My dad was also notorious for bringing home weird animals for pets that should only be in the wild... Magpie's, skunks, deer... (maybe I'll write more on that another time )

If I recall correctly, It was late afternoon. I followed him as we walked across the yard, to the barn (no new colt or crazy pet) then across the field a long way.

My dad walked our field everyday, to check the cows and horses, and sometimes to just walk and be in the quietness. Us kids, quite often went with him, listening to stories of the Indian circles, learning about the different trees, exploring.

I had actually got into the habit of walking through the field everyday, myself.

So as we walked along our usual path, My dad stopped and pointed to the ground.......

K, side note.

I grew up on a farm in Saskatchewan. In a nut shell, that meant long bitterly cold winters, and an eager anticipation for Spring.

Spring meant, new baby calves, and colts, new kittens (usually), puddles, shorts (which we always wear even if it was only like + 15 out), and my favourite part of Spring.... Not having to fill the wood box for the fire place... or in my case, not having to spend part of my allowance paying my brother or sister to fill the wood box for me!

Every year there was SUCH excitement when the first sign of Spring arrived.

The Crocus!

If you don't know, the Crocus is a purple flower... the first flower of Spring actually, and they grow all over the newly uncovered grass, even before its green again. The first signs of a long winter over, and summer dreams ahead were symbolised by bouquets of Crocus's on our dining room table, and sadly the tiny bugs that always accompanied.

So back to my dad, pointing at the ground.

As I looked, to my surprise, there was a small WHITE crocus standing alone in the grass.

Feeding off my dads excitement, I was so intrigued. I had never seen a white crocus before in my life... They were always purple.

My dad had never seen one either in all his 30 some springs lived out. After taking a few pictures of it, we made a little lean-to wood shelter around it to protect it.

After that either my dad would check on "our" flower everyday, or I would take the hike and go and see how it was holding up.

My dad was so proud of his flower... (my flower by association) I was so proud that my dad found it (and that I was the first of the kids to see it!) He went in and showed the picture to an older woman in our town who was equally amazed by the light colour of the plant.

Now, I cant even remember how or when it died (crocus's don't last very long anyway) I can't recall, we may have even picked it? I don't even have the picture anymore.

Something I Love about my dad is his ability to live in Wonder.

Wonder is my dads approach to life, and he always fostered that in us kids.

Whether it was wonder for nature, trees, flowers, pussy willows, rocks, fossils, animals, fields and crops.... He seemed to have this way of making things seem so exciting. He was the first one that any of us kids would bring our new found treasures to for appraisal. Without fail, we were always met with intrigue and a "Holy!"

I feel like it is only now, as I am days away from my 30th birthday, that I am learning to appreciate this gift that my dad embodied. I don't yet have my own children, but in the anticipation of one day being a mother, I often find myself reflecting on the ways that I was parented.

I do believe that God placed me in my family for a reason. Hand picking my mom and my dad to raise me, so I could learn things from them that would foster the calling and purpose in my own life.

As I look back, and look ahead in my life, I will hold onto and carry forward (with my own children), this gift of child like wonder that our culture has lost in the fancifulness of life.

My dad made things like walks in the field, Sunday afternoon drives, horse back rides, sliding on the frozen pond, tobogganing, piling wood, gardening, picking rocks in the field, shelling peanuts, chasing cows, even just sitting on around a bon-fire, adventurous, fun, enjoyable... full of Wonder.

We maybe didn't have "everything" that the world would classify as "anything" when I was growing up... But you know, you don't really need alot when you have Wonder. Even the smallest most naturally insignificant things can become amazing!

Beauty and Awe are in the eye of the beholder. That's why every year at the school Christmas concert, whether I had a one line part, or I was unseen in the back row, my dad would be seen poking his head above the crowd to get a glimpse, grinning profusely, waving like a mad man.....

No one else may have noticed me... But my dad sure did and that made me feel amazing!

It took me a few years, coming face to face with my own imperfections to realize that there is not a human on earth that is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone falls short sometimes, everyone has their own hurt and pain that veil their perception of life.

I'm realizing that my time here is just too short and precious to concern myself with the flaws and lack in myself and others.

My time is more wisely used and my heart expands when I set my gaze on the gifts and light that God has placed within every human being as they were lovingly formed in His hands.

My dad lived and modelled (still does) his God given gift of Wonder. This gift fosters and is quickly followed by an excitement for life, a thankfulness and appreciation for what we HAVE been given.

I thank God that I have come to the place where I can see the gift, receive it, and pass along to a generation that needs its Child Like Joy back!