Flowers From Heaven At My Door

“My deepest awareness of myself is that I am

 deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done

 nothing to earn it or deserve it.”

 

                                                            -Brennan Manning

Ephesian 3:16-20 (NLT)

 I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower me with inner strength through His (Holy) Spirit.  Then Christ will make His home in my heart as you trust in Him. My roots will grow down into God’s love and keep me strong.  And may I have the power to understand (and the eyes to see), as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is.  May I experience (more than head knowledge) the love of Christ (May His love be the most powerful reality in my life), though it is too great to understand fully. Then I will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

 Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within me (even when I can't see it), to accomplish infinitely more than I might ask or think.

Father, Can You give me a revelation of Your Love.  A Spirit of Wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of You.  That my heart would be absolutely flooded with light..... Help me to see You.  Help my heart to be open and allow me to receive the Love I so desperately need and thirst for, from You.  You are able, and You are willing to fill me with Your fullness.  May my eyes be kept on You and the power of Your Love, and not on who I am, in and of myself.

I am Deeply, Inconceivably and Insanely, Loved by God!

XOXOXO

Wonder

My dad was overall a pretty calm man..... and by pretty calm, I mean rarely (outwardly) get worked up about anything,  (The apple has fallen far from that tree!)  

He would usually drive 5km... if not more, under the speed limit.  

My childhood was a blur of semi's passing us on the highway (Apple's still attached to that tree!) 

He would even turn his car off about 10 feet from a parking stall and coast in ("Save a little gas, "He'd say)  Dad was never in a hurry for anything....

I still love that about him.

 I can freely think about his relaxed nature and smile... Now.. because I am not, panicked, on my way to the airport with him, to catch a flight that I may or may not make!

I remember one day, when I was young,  he came in from outside. (He had been out doing chores)

He was excited, and said to me "Come on,  I've got to show you something"

Instantly excited, my mind started to race... What could it be? You never could tell with my dad.  A new colt, a new wild pet.  My dad was also notorious for bringing home weird animals for pets that should only be in the wild... Magpie's, skunks, deer... (maybe I'll write more on that another time )

If I recall correctly, It was late afternoon.  I followed him as we walked across the yard, to the barn (no new colt or crazy pet) then across the field a long way.  

My dad walked our field everyday,  to check the cows and horses, and sometimes to just walk and be in the quietness.  Us kids, quite often went with him, listening to stories of the Indian circles, learning about the different trees, exploring.

I had actually got into the habit of walking through the field everyday, myself.

So as we walked along our usual path, My dad stopped and pointed to the ground.......

K, side note.

I grew up on a farm in Saskatchewan.  In a nut shell, that meant long bitterly cold winters, and an eager anticipation for Spring.

Spring meant, new baby calves, and colts, new kittens (usually), puddles, shorts (which we always wear even if it was only like + 15 out), and my favourite part of Spring.... Not having to fill the wood box for the fire place... or in my case,  not having to spend part of my allowance paying my brother or sister to fill the wood box for me!

Every year there was SUCH excitement when the first sign of Spring arrived.  

The Crocus!

If you don't know, the Crocus is a purple flower... the first flower of Spring actually, and they grow all over the newly uncovered grass, even before its green again.  The first signs of a long winter over, and summer dreams ahead were symbolised by bouquets of Crocus's on our dining room table,  and sadly the tiny bugs that always accompanied.

So back to my dad, pointing at the ground.

As I looked, to my surprise, there was a small WHITE crocus standing alone in the grass.

Feeding off my dads excitement, I was so intrigued.  I had never seen a white crocus before in my life... They were always purple.

My dad had never seen one either in all his 30 some springs lived out.  After taking a few pictures of it, we made a little lean-to wood shelter around it to protect it.

After that either my dad would check on "our" flower everyday, or I would take the hike and go and see how it was holding up.

My dad was so proud of his flower... (my flower by association)   I was so proud that my dad found it (and that I was the first of the kids to see it!)  He went in and showed the picture to an older woman in our town who was equally amazed by the light colour of the plant.

Now, I cant even remember how or when it died (crocus's don't last very long anyway)  I can't recall,  we may have even picked it?  I don't even have the picture anymore.

Something I Love about my dad is his ability to live in Wonder.

Wonder is my dads approach to life, and he always fostered that in us kids.

Whether it was wonder for nature, trees, flowers, pussy willows, rocks, fossils, animals, fields and crops.... He seemed to have this way of making things seem so exciting.   He was the first one that any of us kids would bring our new found treasures to for appraisal.  Without fail, we were always met with  intrigue and a "Holy!"

I feel like it is only now, as I am days away from my 30th birthday, that I am learning to appreciate this gift that my dad embodied.  I don't yet have my own children, but in the anticipation of one day being a mother,  I often find myself reflecting on the ways that I was parented.  

I do believe that God placed me in my family for a reason.  Hand picking my mom and my dad to raise me, so I could learn things from them that would foster the calling and purpose in my own life.

As I look back, and look ahead in my life,  I will hold onto and carry forward (with my own children), this gift of child like wonder that our culture has lost in the fancifulness of life.

My dad made things like walks in the field, Sunday afternoon drives, horse back rides, sliding on the frozen pond, tobogganing, piling wood, gardening, picking rocks in the field, shelling peanuts, chasing cows, even just sitting on around a bon-fire, adventurous, fun, enjoyable... full of Wonder.

We maybe didn't have "everything" that the world would classify as "anything" when I was growing up... But you know, you don't really need alot when you have Wonder.  Even the smallest most naturally insignificant things can become amazing!

Beauty and Awe are in the eye of the beholder.  That's why every year at the school Christmas concert, whether I had a one line part, or I was unseen in the back row, my dad would be seen poking his head above the crowd to get a glimpse, grinning profusely, waving like a mad man.....

No one else may have noticed me... But my dad sure did and that made me feel amazing!

It took me a few years, coming face to face with my own imperfections to realize that there is not a human on earth that is perfect.  Everyone makes mistakes, everyone falls short sometimes, everyone has their own hurt and pain that veil their perception of life.  

I'm realizing that my time here is just too short and precious to concern myself with the flaws and lack in myself and others.

My time is more wisely used and my heart expands when I set my gaze on the gifts and light that God has placed within every human being as they were lovingly formed in His hands.

My dad lived and modelled (still does) his God given gift of Wonder.  This gift fosters and is quickly followed by an excitement for life, a thankfulness and appreciation for what we HAVE been given.

I thank God that I have come to the place where I can see the gift, receive it,  and pass along to a generation that needs its Child Like Joy back!

                                                        Thank you dad, for your time. 

 Time is precious, and you gave yours.  Probably the most valuable inheritance that you could have left us.

I couldn't imagine a better Father for me.

I Love you

XOXOXO

Layman, Amateur, Ordinary, Common...Yup, Sounds Like Us!

 I read this verse the other day and it jumped right off the page and made me almost burst with Excitement and Joy! 

Acts 4:13 (MSG)

The verse is talking about Peter and John, boldly preaching, and doing miracles after Christ had risen from the dead and was no longer on earth...... 

Not so ordinary I guess......

I inserted our names, and made this my hearts prayer for Trev and I

^VS:13 They were amazed and couldn’t take their eyes off them. Trevor and Christina standing there so confident and bold, so sure of themselves! Their fascination deepened when they realized these two were laymen, amateur, ordinary, and common with no training in Scripture or formal education. They recognized them as companions (Friends) of Jesus, those who had been with Jesus

That's real....

Wow, now that is something to be recognized for..... a friend of Jesus.  Those who walked with Jesus.   Worked with Him, learned from Him, laughed, and spent time with Him... day in and day out......
and now walk in dumbfounding boldness and confidence because of Him...... and no other reason!!!

I want to be recognized as common everyday people who know Jesus

XOXOXO

You Hem Us In, Behind and Before

I'm starting with the old, cliche (in blogger world anyway)

"It's been awhile"

I do have an excuse though

Since I last wrote, I have.........

Spent a week with our family in Phoenix

Did some outlet shopping

Received my very first Mani Peti, with the girls (While I sat in a massage chair! Also, the ladies at the salon said I looked like Taylor Swift... lol... I've never heard that one before!! )

Had a date at In and Out Burger!

Took a scenic Trip to Senoa

I had the privilege to stumble upon, and spend part of an  afternoon with an amazing Sculptor and remarkable man,  James Muir

Picked a grapefruit and oranges from a tree

They tasted Horrific... (I guess it serves us right for picking them from a tree that wasn't ours....)

Saw a Phoenix Suns Game (Which was a blast... never thought I could get into Basketball)

Tasted some good beers

Even got in some pool days

Won/lost some games

Had a fun time cooking with everyone

We all ended up getting in the freezing water!  Phoenix had record breaking cold weather while we were there.... ha ha.. makes me laugh, but we made the best of it!

Saw a tree that looked like a pineapple!

We Rested.... 

(Some more than others)

I have packed up, wrapped up and cleaned up every last remnent of my life in BC

Said good bye to our friends and shed some private tears.  Proof that this girl miraculously DOES get attached now!

I've enjoyed some good times and good humour with Trevor and our dad, as we entered a whirlwind week of packing and cleaning

I've experienced God's Peace guarding my heart, when in moments, I may have easily slipped into insanity.... (I'm so dramatic!)

I have stood and viewed my empty echoing condo.  The one that I can say with assurance felt like the first HOME I Trevor and I ever lived in together.

My mind whirls and asks the silent questions to God.

What is next, God?
What do You have for us now?

I have watched our life (from this past extremely short feeling year) be packed like a puzzle into a 5 by 8 U-Haul trailer)

I'm leaving with so many fond memories, and a heart so filled that it could never be packed in a trailer, and moved with a truck.

I have made the long (but beautiful) trip back to Calgary

Stayed in a sketchy hotel (I don't have pictures... but I thought you should know!)

Ate at Harold's (an old school family diner, Kamloops)

I laughed

I sang at the top of my lungs

I switched from car to car, and talked my little heart out

Moved our new life back into our old house with Hope that it will one day feel like our home

I have dreamt with my mom about making changes to the Calgary house.  Repainting the walls a brighter color, redoing some old lamp shades for a pop of color, maybe some new pillows, and room rearrangements..... (All Pintrest ideas of course!)

Change

So much change!

I don't feel ready

I was comfortable in BC (Maybe too much.......)

I'm so thankful that in my weakness, God's strength is perfected.  I'm not sure what the heck I'm doing.  I'm unsure of how to integrate this new healed and free Christina back into this old/new life 

God, You have prepared the way for us

I bet I say that 5 times a day

God, I thank You that you went behind us when we left Calgary a year ago, and covered the mess that our life was in.  Though it was red as scarlet, You made it (and us) white as snow.

I'm clinging to God right now

Making an effort to not rely on my own thoughts, ideas and feelings (that leads nowhere stable.....)

I need Him so much!

I don't have what it takes in myself to succeed.... (and I think I am okay with that)

He Loves us

He will not let our feet slip

He who watches over Trevor and Christina, neither slumbers nor sleeps

XOXOXO