"That Girl Is A Machine, An Inspiration To Us All!!!"

I Love to Run

Now let me clarify by adding.....

1.  The above picture was taken at the Warrior Dash 2012, wearing Trevor's medal and Trevor's hat... Yes, that's correct.....I did not run the race  
2.  When running, I do Not like to push myself to the point of exhaustion... Ever!

  I like to run until I'm tired then walk for a bit... (catch my breath)

3.  My preference is to run hills

But I walk up to them (to assure I have ample energy for the climb)

4.  I scarcely pass a bench with a nice view that I don't stop, plant myself down for a moment 

and Instagram a sunrise

5.  I find it torture to pass a playground and not have a little swing

It simply calls to me!

6.  My favorite part of running each day is the big stretch (approx 2 blocks straight)  by the bus stop (crowded with people.) 
I start running as soon as I round the corner and come into bus stop view.  
I pick up speed as I breeze past my fellow morning folk (trying not to breath loudly.)  Then I simply play it cool, maintaining a brisk pace,  till around the corner out of view,  then I B-line it to the park for a "post-sprint" lay-down in the grass.... 

Oh Ya... They don't have to audibly speak my praises... I can see it in their shocked widened eyes as I whiz by...

"That girl is a machine.. and inspiration to us all!!!!" 

I Love to Run... Christina Style

My runs are the space in my world where I don't push myself

where there are No rules

No goals

No self improvement regimen

My early morning runs are My Solitude

The place where I think.. and think.... find another bench.. and think some more

My runs are where I work out my frustrations with God

Talk to Him

Recite scripture and Truth over and over again

(It's easy to do when you are never out of breath!)
My runs the Adventure in my day

Where songs and music download into my head

Stories

Ideas

And sometimes I can barely make it home fast enough to write them down

When I am outside

When I run

When I Enjoy the warmth

The sun

Beauty

I feel Free

I feel Alive and filled with Joy

And you know what

I get results

I started out last year, not being able to run half a block (no joke)

Now, I can run (should a bear be chasing me) to possibly save my life..... or at least have the confidence that I could outrun someone...

And that is a HUGE survival skill right there

I can also run like a pro, when Trev and I have had a fight and I'm steaming mad....

Oh ya, then I can run till my legs are gonna fall off... fly past all my dear swings and benches in a bitter rage!

Though, these frantic escapades usually end with me having a humbling epiphany, 
halting mid-stride,

doing a 180, and running just as fast back home to say....

"Babe, I'm so sorry"

I have no desire to ever run a marathon

No desire to make a training schedule

In fact, Trevor signed us up for a race this weekend.. and I am just dreading it with everything in me.....

Having a time lined goal sucks all the fun out for me!

There is a reason why I protect my precious running space so much from goals, rules, training

........ It's not cuz I'm lazy or unmotivated

Which one could conclude by sheer observation of me (except the people that I pass at the bus stop everyday.. they think I am hardcore!!)

I protect this space because there is very little room in my perfectionistic, goal setting, rule keeping, organized life

For Christina to be Free

See, though I don't care if I ever improve as a runner

And other than my bus stop audience, I'm not concerned if anyone thinks I'm good

I run for my simple and utter enjoyment

This is

Very different from my mindset in the rest of my life

Areas where I do want to improve

Get better

Succeed

Areas where I fear that if I don't push myself, 

I will fail

My marriage, for example, is one

Growing up, I lived with my parent's broken marriage and divorce

Then the other failed relationships they partook in to fill the voids and try again

Something inside of me is so bent toward having a different outcome in my own life and marriage than those I see increasingly all around me!

Sadly, my dreams and goals to have a happy marriage has come with alot of striving, unrealistic goals, pushing, work, book reading, military like expectations............

Basically equalling 

all the fun sucked out!

(Like I feel about this stinking race on Saturday!)

As I was running today... well, walking at this point (I was almost in view of the bus stop so I was conserving energy for the long stretch ahead of me)

I had a thought

How different would our marriage be if I approached it like I did my runs?

No goals, no pressure on myself or Trevor..... 

(To which Trevor says a silent but powerful Amen!)

What if I was able to just Enjoy life with Trevor

Stop and Rest

Take in the Beauty

Play on the swings

Run when we have energy and walk when we want to conserve before the big hills

What if our relationship filled us with Joy and Life and Energy

Inspired us to be Creative

Feel alive

What if all the fear of failing, or ending up like my parents was erased and I could just trust that we will get to where we need to be?

Remember, last year I couldn't run half a block without tasting blood .. (seriously)

And now, after a year of Simply Enjoying running.. I have ran 7 KM (when challenged by Trevor...endured it, even though I still tasted blood) and felt really really proud of myself for accomplishing such an unexpected feit in my life

Maybe, just maybe, I could expand my Christina-Style Running Space, let a little Freedom and Joy spill over.  Maybe my amazing husband, a healthy alive relationship is a Gift that God gave us, to be Enjoyed and Received more than be worked and striven for.......

It's got me to thinking anyhow

XOXOXO